Dating a cyber snooper
This Gator was brought in because it was blowing out LOTS …
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Your lack of trust Whether it’s a momentary lapse in judgement or a series of lapses that have made snooping a habit, halt, because it’s not the kind of behaviour that you can carry with you if you’re on a journey where you want to feel good about you and enjoy healthy relationships.
No one wants to feel unsafe and ultimately, where do you draw the line?
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When I was pregnant with my first daughter, longtime readers may recall that I got into the hidden camera show ‘Cheaters’ where people who suspect their partners of cheating have them investigated and followed… I know, I know, but I was signed off with a bad back at 34 weeks. It fascinated me that people either wouldn’t trust the information they already had or that they would go on TV before they would communicate with their partners or make a decision.
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I’ve also noticed something quite interesting about snooping: Often when we snoop on partners, we rationalise that it’s OK and that we have legitimate reasons for doing so that are different to say, an abusive person’s reasons for doing so.
What also happens is that even if we do find evidence, we keep it to ourselves, not just because we don’t want to reveal what we’ve been up to, but more so because we see the evidence as an indicator of something about us that becomes our motivator to step up with some pleasing to try to influence and control their feelings and behaviour.